So...What's This All About, Again?

One of my New Year's Resolutions (actually, my only resolution), was to "do" a blog in 2010. What can I say - I'd just watched Julie and Julia, and thought, "Hell, if Amy Adams can do it - stupid, annoying, constantly happy actress that she is - so can I!" (This is the part where you spare me the lecture about how actors are only playing a role, and personality-wise, they're not truly the people they portray on screen. Just shut it - Christian Bale really is a douche nozzle, and his little tirade on the set of Terminator: Suckfest last year just confirmed something I've been saying for years!) 

One thing you'll probably notice about my blog is that I have a tendency to go off on a tangent. For example, the above word vomit. Sometimes, my mind races a million miles a minute (or, a quarter of a mile a second, to paraphrase Vin Diesel), and if I don't get it all out, I might do something crazy - like punch a wall. Or insult some people on Facebook. So pretend it's a form of Tourettes - I mean, you wouldn't criticize a person with a disability, would you? (Actually, if you would, you're probably my kind of person, but again...I digress.)

Anyway, once I'd made up my mind to actually sit down and write out some of this verbal diarrhea, there came a question of topic. Stupid clichés tell you to write about what you know (and stupid authors repeat that shit verbatim!). The problem is, I don't really know a whole lot about any one specific thing (although I know a ridiculous amount of something about anything)...but wait a tick...

There's one topic I can talk about endlessly, 24/7/365 - Hate. My family and friends are always talking about how exciting and hilarious it is when I get really fired up (or maybe they just say that so I don't try to fight them), but I'm sure they're probably tired of listening to my bitching, so I thought, "Why not make daily lists of my hatred for all the world to see?"

For those of you who think, "Hate's such a strong word," or, "There's too much in life to love to waste time on hate," or, "When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves," or some other psycho-babble bullshit - spare me the lecture. I'm perfectly happy in my hatred of people, places, and things (and sometimes qualities and actions). In fact, one could say that for me, "To Hate is Molly; to forgive...absurd." I love to hate; I live to hate; and it's probably true that I'm happiest when I'm hating on something or someone. Because the best thing about hate is that as soon as you put it out there; you dust that dirt off your shoulders - you'll find that there's plenty of room in your heart for more hate! And the best part about blogging about the various things that you hate is that you'll always find someone on the internet who feels the exact same way. (I mean, seriously - in a world with 2 Girls, 1 Cup, you really shouldn't be surprised that someone hates puppies, cuddling, or Christmas).

So think of this blog as a one-on-one counseling session. I'll put it out there, and you can feel comforted in the fact that somewhere, in a shithole called Shreveport, there's a very hateful woman who's willing to write the kinds of things you never thought to say. 

By the way, if you've made it this far, I'm sure it goes without saying that this blog is going to be offensive. I love to curse, and often punctuate my sentences with a good "fuck" or "cunt" instead of apostrophes and commas. Please don't leave me messages telling me how offended you really are - because the old standard goes that if you put a bunch of monkeys with typewriters in a room for 100 years...well, I'm not saying that what I'm writing is Shakespeare, or flinging my own poop around, but I'm positive that at some point, something that I say or complain about is going to offend somebody, and if that day comes when that someone is you, well, I'd be just as happy if instead of calling me a bitch, you just go your merry little way, and find some blog about kittens and Valentine's hearts that makes you a little happier. 

And for the record - I know I'm a bitch. I know I have a filthy mouth. And I know plenty of people who hate me. So please, spare me those arguments. Because I do love to argue with creative people...but you know what I hate right now? People that argue without a leg to stand on. (Excluding pirates. Because pirates are pretty awesome, especially if they have a peg-leg. And a parrot).

So until I post again (and that's hopefully sooner rather than later), remember: "It's better to be hated for who you are, than loved for someone you are not." Some famous Frenchman won a Nobel Prize for that shit!