I thought I'd write today's blog about something that universally, across-the-board, EVERYONE hates. (Note: If you do not hate this topic, you are clearly not a human, so stop reading this blog immediately, because I have not yet tailored my brand of humor to "robot".) Anyway, robot disclaimer aside, I think you know where I'm going with this one:
The Checkout Lane at your local "super" store.
Sorry for the less-than-stellar picture quality, but I took this with my iPhone on Black Friday at our local SuperTarget. And while I acknowledge that these are not your ordinary, middle-of-a-Wednesday at Wal-Mart, I think we can all agree that no matter what time of day you go to your local Super Wal-Mart, Super Target, or Super Market (see what I did there?), or whether you go on a Tuesday versus a Saturday, the bottom line is there's never enough damn lanes open, and never enough damn employees working either.
The biggest culprit here, at least where I live is Super Target. I avoid our local Wal Mart like the plague, because, quite frankly, it makes the website http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ look like the upper middle class. No joke. But I love going to Super Target because I love their $1 section (even though most things in there are, in fact, actually more than $1), I love their "el cheapo" sushi, and I love the fact that I can bring in all 238947212 of those "reusable" bags I keep collecting from EVERYWHERE, and they give me 5 cents off for each one.
Putting my love for Target aside, however, the problem is that they are a grocery store and a regular "Target" combined in one. But don't let the picture fool you - they may have more than 20 lanes, but at any given time, on any given day, there are rarely more than 5 open. RARELY. Trust me, I go to Target at least every other day, and usually when I've just rolled out of bed (which can be any hour of the day, literally). There is hardly ever an open register, and the norm for waits is around 4 minutes before you can put your goodies on the conveyor belt.
Part of the problem is that our Super Target has not mentally and physically prepared itself to be part grocery store. It's not fair to the people who come in for a greeting card to have to stand behind me in line when I've got a month's worth of groceries in my cart (and yeah, I could be nice and let them go ahead of me, but I've also been waiting 10 minutes for the grocery behemoth in front of me to finish up and leave!). It's also not fair for me to have to "presort" all my items as I put them on the belt, thereby ensuring that the "I Could Care Less" cashier doesn't put bleach in with my lettuce, or meats in with my sack of potatoes.
But it's not just Target. It's the Super Wal-Mart too, where they have 30 lanes, but only 10 of them open. And 90% of Shreveport shops here at any given time of any given day. I'll even give the Super Wal-Mart a little credit - their cashiers seem to know how to bag groceries vs. household items. However, this:
is not "Speedy". 20 items is a lot. If you don't believe me, go to your local store and try to carry 20 items in your arms. Shit, I'll even give you a basket. But not a cart. Because if you need a cart, you shouldn't be in the Speedy line (unless you're carrying a 50 lb bag of dog food or a ton of cat litter. There are exceptions, of course.).
And another thing - I'm all for a cashless, checkless society. So, for the LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, can we PUHLEEZE get a "Cash/Check-Only" line? You'll only need one. The rest can all be "Cards-Only". And that way, when those motherfuckers have to stand in line for 20 minutes behind all the rest of shitheels counting out change, writing checks, dickering over 37 cents (no joke - I actually stood behind someone for 15 minutes who BITCHED nonstop over a 37-cent discrepancy), they'll know how it feels to be a member of the rest of the world, and then perhaps they'll be spurred into moving into the 21st century with all us folk who walk around on two legs.
Ugh. So angry right now! Where was I? Long story short - "Super" stores need more registers actually open, thereby, making them "Super" in my eyes. Because you know what I hate more than waiting balls-deep in line when all I want is a tube of chapstick? People paying with cash. (*note to self-save that "checks/cash" topic for a day when I don't have anything else to bitch about).
3 comments:
i had someone pay with a travelers' check when i worked at sheetz? who carries those? are we teenagers on a trip to europe? i guess you shouldn't be surprised that there are super lines at super store that lead to super hate.
Hmmm..thanks for pointing out that the Target doesn't really care about what they put where, I never completely noticed that, but it's true!
Our Target's cashier stands are all wonky too, they've got this total antifung schway thing so everyone is always going "excuse me, sorry, oh, pardon me, ma'am, can you move, oops, didn't mean, oh sorry, etc." Who designs things that way??
I think I'll skip the Shreveport Super Zhay, you just might end up hurting me. Not only do I tend to supplement my lack of cash with cards/checks, use coupons, misplace my photo id, and count change, but I have a little certain someone who gets a hair-trigger screamy temper by the time we're at the checkout--he likes to push buttons on the card reader at the wrong time, he gets into the electronics of the empty cashier stand behind us, he freaks out about impulse items he can't have, forgetttt about the $8.99 jumbo balloon that they use to taunt us alllll. Didn't mean to mommyjack your comments but just reading the word "checkout" gets me a little bit...squirrely.
But I would never discrep over 37 cents. Victory!
Rachel,
You know who I don't hate in line for the checkout? Mothers with wee ones (SHOCKER!). You know why? Because they're usually in as big of a hurry to get the hell outta the store as I am. So they don't mess around. And you may use your coupons, but I'll bet when your bebe is squirming around, you're not trying to dicker over 37 cents!
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