Today, it's People Bitching About NBC's Coverage of the Olympics

I'd say that title is pretty straight-forward. But in case you've yet to encounter one of these idiots running around NBC's Olympic Facebook and Twitter pages, let me break it down for you:

These same bandwagon-eers who jumped on at the Conan/Leno debacle, and never got off can be found bitching about the following:

1. NBC's less-than-live coverage of major Olympic events during prime-time hours (ie they taped certain "less-than-stellar-ratings-events" earlier in the day, and then are interspersing them during the warm-ups of the actual live events)
2. NBC's live and prime-time coverage of "main" events - such as Pairs Skating - that should have been substituted for __________ (insert your favorite least-watched sport in the Olympics here).
3. NBC's "Spoiling" the medal winners by posting the results of live events as soon as they happen (as opposed to waiting until their not-so-live primetime recap) on Facebook and Twitter)
4. How no other country can do it better than America, and if another country wins a medal, it's because they cheated, are a Communist, hate God, or sometimes all three together.

 So I decided to help these morons out by making it really easy for them to get the Olympic coverage they want, since apparently Facebook is the only internet site they can currently use. Here's my solution, in 4 easy steps:

1. Get a TiVo/DVR/VCR - that way, in case the event that you're wanting to watch is on at 1 pm or midnight, you've got your own special way of watching it "live". The amazing thing about TiVo/DVR/TV Guide Magazine/THE INTERNET is also that you can now "magically" figure out what sport is on what channel (because evidently, reckoning that NBC isn't the ONLY channel showing the Olympics is too much for your tiny brains), and then program them to tape in your absence. Those of us who actually WATCH the Olympics have prepared weeks in advance to know what's on when, and programmed accordingly. I can only assume that the people complaining about programming are the ones who don't even know the difference between Free Skate and Short Program in Figure Skating.
   
   My biggest complaint about the people bitching about the less-than-live coverage during prime time is that they obviously don't have a recording device. Therefore, having to watch a recap of the Men's Snowboarding Cross qualifiers interspersed in Pairs Skating is the greatest thing that could ever happen to them - believe me - I sat and watched it in full, earlier in the day, with 293874928374 commercials. Luckily, I have TiVo, and I could fast forward through that shit. Or, just delete it completely, (because the Men's Cross Qualifiers were boring as fuck).
2. Certain sports in the Winter Olympics are slow. And stupid. And so, they're not going to get shown during prime time. Get the fuck over it. And get a Cable-recording device. Or, just see #1.
3. If Facebook is your only connection to the outside world (meaning you don't use Google, NBC.com, a newspaper, a television, or anything else that separates us from the monkeys), then either "Hide" NBC's Olympics feed on your Twitter and Facebook (although how you ever managed to get off FarmVille and subscribe to them in the first place is beyond my comprehension), or shut the fuck up. Seriously.
   
   Do you bitch at the weathermen for ruining your day by telling you the forecast for the rest of the week? No? Well, then shut up about NBC tryin' to help out the folks without recording capabilities, or access to the outside internet, television, and/or newspapers. You can't have it both ways - if they don't show the "live" events recapped during primetime, then expect to know what the results of the biathlon are at 4 pm, because that shit's been going on all goddamn day.
4. If you think America's the only country who deserves to win any medals during a world event, please stop reading my blog right now, and go kill yourself. Seriously. You're not doing anyone any favors. And you're really just pissing me off.
   
   Because you know what I hate more than people bitching on Facebook about NBC? Ethnocentrism. (And people fawning all over Conan O'Brien, but that's a topic for another time).